Friday, March 4, 2011

Holding on to mis-pronounced word at a time

GIJoe has no intention of conceiving another bambino.  He is happy with two.  One boy.  One girl.  When we leave the house, we each have one kid on which to "run interference".  We ask ourselves, if we had more than two, how on earth would we manage?

And I get it.  I do.

But that doesn't stop me from pointing the DirectTV remote at my kids and pressing the pause button over and over.  

They laugh.  I wimper.

The Professor has jumped 6 shoe sizes in the past 4 months.  This morning he had a bowl of cereal, two waffles with peanut butter and a granola bar for breakfast. 

Eating and growing.  Eating and growing.  That's not to say that I don't enjoy their current ages.  I do!  The smart-mouths make me laugh...sometimes.  And the witty and clever things they say blow my hair back.

BUT...I miss rubbing my cheek on their soft, fat bellies.  Their intoxicating baby smells, the corn-niblet toes. The fat thighs that blubb blubb blubb when they hop out of the bath and run away while I'm trying to wriggle them into their jammies. [wipes tear]

SassySissy is 5 years old and The Professor is "6 and three quarters".  And yes, I should correct them when they pronouce these words incorrectly.  But, by God, I'm holding onto this one final scrap of toddler-hood and you can't stop me!! 

1.  Frus-tree-ated
     - Example:  "MOM, I am very frustreeated that SassySissy wants me to play stoopid princess games ALL THE TIME."

2.  Commer-shin-ull
     - Example:  "With all these commershinnulls how are we supposed to find out if Dr. Doofenshmirtz destroys the 'ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA'?!?"

3.  Zizzers
    -  Example:  "Mommy, I need some zizzers to finish my art project.  Can I use these?" (holds up my $50, sharp-as-a-meat-cleaver sewing zizzers that she artfully climbed atop a box in my closet to retrieve, knowing full-well that her kid-friendly zizzers are downstairs in the craft basket).

Dear God, it's me, Kim.  Can we PLEASE pause their growth?  Just for a month?  Or 6?  If for no other reason than I've bought The Professor 6 pairs of Nikes in the past 4 months and GIJoe's head is going to explode if he has to enter any more "shoe receipts" into Quicken.